Cell phones have had an undeniable impact on quotidian life. Problems like running out of toilet paper are now solved with a message from your cell phone, instead of having to waddle to your computer or landline. But these benefits have unforeseen consequences. Every single day, AvB Housing, the Facebook group of Anna van Buerenplein residents, gets flooded with desperate pleas for toilet paper:
“Can someone help me out with toilet paper please?”
“Toilet paper needed on Floor 17!!!”
“Can someone please bring toilet paper to room 462?”
While students have long had to fall back on peers for help in these sticky situations, this lack of toilet paper hasn’t gone unnoticed by Leiden University College. In light of the issue, the College Board got together and attempted to come up with a solution but had difficulty unlocking its particularities.
When interviewed by LUC News the College Board representative told us: “We simply can’t come up with a decent explanation or solution for this. We have discussed it for hours but it seems like something key is missing.”
“It is unclear to us how Coca Cola fits into the picture.” the Dean added.
Lots of advice from the PC and CC ended up in the bin as the College Board knocked heads behind locked doors. In the end, the Board agreed to disagree. Since this ultimately led to nothing, an alternative plan was proposed and set into motion.
LUC News is proud to reveal this plan on behalf of the College Board:
LUC has secured a sponsorship deal with the well known toilet paper producer Lotus. The company promised to fill every single AvB common room with a weekly supply of 48 rolls. In return, LUC will print the Lotus logo on all future LUC merchandise as well as plaster the logo on one of AvB’s sides. This seemed reasonable to the College Board considering the cost of this huge amount of toilet paper.
“Thanks to us - and Lotus - but mainly us, no student living in AvB will ever have to worry about toilet paper again. No one can accuse LUC of not listening to its students!” the Dean announced proudly as he leaned against his office door.
LUC News would like to point out that we are not sponsored by Lotus, although we would accept free toilet paper any time.