In the News: Lack of LUC News Articles may be related to Reading Week

LUC News, founded 3 weeks ago, has long been defined by its prolific article writing. In fact, internet statistics (www.internetworldstats.com) report that a new article was posted nearly every day since the 23rd of September. However, with no articles posted in the last 3 days, strange theories are cropping up about LUC News and its writers.

With the puzzling decline in the number of articles posted on LUC News the last few days, we appealed to our team of experts to try to explain this phenomenon.

The first piece of evidence noticed by this team was that the sharp decline of articles coincides with the approach of reading week. Stemming from this groundbreaking discovery, the investigators concluded in shocking fashion that the people behind LUC News were in fact LUC Students.

“The correlation between LUC News posts and the number of deadlines faced by LUC students at a particular moment in time is almost perfectly linear and statistically significant”, one of the experts informed us between two bites of stroopwafel. “This is certainly not coincidental, leading us to the conclusion that the LUC News writers are most likely directly affected by the deadlines.”

If this hypothesis is correct then we may expect a rise in articles the weeks following Reading Week.

When we reached out to LUC News for a statement, they sent us a short message saying that their “staff is of different ages, genders, ethnicities, nationalities and sexualities, but most certainly has nothing to do with LUC.”

Here at LUC News we have reason to doubt the truthfulness of this statement, however. While none of this is conclusive as it is based on speculation, only time will finally prove the veracity of this hypothesis.

LUC News 2015 reporting.

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