Breaking News: Prospective Student Kanye West to prepare for Presidency

Kanye West has announced that he will be a member of LUC’s class of 2019. After the singer recently declared that he will run for President of the United States in 2020, he allegedly decided that studying Global Challenges was the perfect way to prepare for his upcoming position.

“I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things,” he told LUC News; “if there is anyone who can bring about world peace and solve Global Challenges such as world hunger, it’s me.” He went on to claim that he was stronger, and had more power, all the while flexing his muscles and growling.

While not your stereotypical student, Kanye West is convinced that his LUC career will be a success: “There's nothing I really wanted to do in life that I wasn't able to get good at”, he stated. “I’m also excited about being just a few hours from Paris. I can pop by the mall, any time.”

West, who demanded to be called Yeezus, is a self-proclaimed “proud non-reader of books”, but he is not worried about this causing a problem with his university work. “I don’t need books, there is nothing I can learn from them. Books are heartless gold-diggers, you buy them and they steal your mind.” he told our reporter. “For me to say I'm not a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself,” he went on to proclaim.

When probed by LUC News, he revealed his plans to run for Fortuna Chair in his first year of LUC. West believes that this will be the perfect opportunity to practice being in an extremely important office. The only obstacle he anticipates is a lack of acceptance from the LUC community because “[w]hen you’re the absolute best, you get hated on the most.”

While taking a break from practicing his latest dance routine, the Dean assured us that “Kanye West will be welcomed to LUC with open arms, in fact he will fit right in! We accept people from all walks of life, even from the coldest winters, and Kanye’s presence will certainly contribute to the diversity of the student body. Now, Let’s see how he takes on an Anar class.”

Although he is still to be accepted in next year’s class, Kanye is already slated to teach a new class at LUC. His course called “New Slaves” will be a 300 lvl Political Arts course. Allegedly, Rihanna will give a guest lecture. “It has been a sort of dark fantasy of mine to teach a course. I expect all of the lights to be on when I hit the stage for this new course,” he exclaimed.

“Only Kanye could revive the Political Arts major.” claimed a 3rd year on the verge of starting his capstone.

“The class is bound 2 be a success.” told us a second year, feeling particularly clever.

“He will runaway with all the awards.” said a first year no one knew yet.

Are you excited about Kanye West’s imminent arrival at LUC? Let us know in the comments below!