Paradoxical News: Garbage Room is Clean

Historically, the LUC Garbage Room has been a battleground for various controversies. Some hate looking at the large green containers which offer no recycling capabilities, others vomit a little bit when they enter and smell the room, and still others actually quite enjoy the smell and occasionally hang out in the backroom.

Yesterday evening one of our reporter ran into a student coming out of the garbage room.

To his great surprise, the student’s face lacked the familiar expression of disgust that usually follows a trip into the revolting room.

When interviewed, the student expressed his relief: “I just walk into the room without risking to be buried alive by the trash…I..I..Don’t know what to say…It smelled like freshly cut grass on a warm summer’s day.”

Investigators have connected this event to the work of the Zetlavengers, a group of common-pool-resources-managing heroes, who have been known in recent years for their stand against elevator waiting times and noisy study spaces, to varying levels of success.

The new cleaning of the Garbage Room has prompted Akbar to announce its intention of hosting a borrel in the new “swanky” garbage lounge, in the hope that it’s hipster environment will attract more LUC customers. Meanwhile the clean state of the Garbage Room has also prompted LUC executives to consider maybe including some recycling options in the room.

In related news: According to a recently ignored QRM Facebook survey, the DUWO grumpiness index has gone down from 9 to 8 points.

Stick to LUC News for more [on] garbage.

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